Sex & Seinfeldisms

No, even worse. There I was...surrounded by, at best, yuppies and, at worst, psycho-crazy bitches with fucked up ideas of being "independent" in a big city and a plethora of insane relationship issues.

Let's set the scene now. Fourth of July, 2010. This is my first major social holiday since becoming recently single (that was in Feb, and it lasted three.5 years) and I decide to head on over to my former college roomie's new row house in SE DC. Let's call her J.

J and her current roomies invited their own group of friends and I was the only one from our glorious and rambunctious past in attendance. Never been afraid of crowds, and this one was certainly interesting. Fanatics of the Middle East (you know the kind who wear scarves in the middle of summer), yuppies of all kinds, and a couple of hipsters here and there.

Now don't get me wrong. I love J - she's great. A tall blonde with a lot of attitude and a bit on the wild side. She can be a bit strong-minded and opinionated at times, but she's got a dash of rationality that's rare for women these days. Most of the time. Anyway, the people who were there are probably more indicative of DC than of or her roomies.

So, there I was. Gracefully entered the party with a six-pack of my favorite micro-brew and wearing a lovely all-American ensemble of a red-tee from Express or something and cut-off jeans shorts. Yea, I was looking good.

So I run into a couple of people I'd met before - one of J's roomies and another one of her friends she may have brought to a night out at the bar. After a couple of hours, we're all a couple to a few beers in and are sitting in a large circle outside in the back just chatting and meeting people.

Then IT comes up. Some crazy chick is totally getting checked out by some guy, and for some odd reason she is trying to explain online dating stuff to him. And he feigns interest...at least that's what I'm assuming. And then the craziest things happens. EVERYONE joins in the conversation about online dating - the sites they subscribe to, their experiences and best practices when attempting to meet someone online.

I'm not one to judge...ha...ha...ha. Ok, yes I totally judge, but I could care less how people meet each other. Can't be worse than the guy who tried picking me up at the bar the other night. Whatever gets the job done I guess. I just wasn't prepared for this kind of openness about online dating. There are definitely taboos and stigmas still attached to doing the online thing and I may have some subconscious opposition to it.

Even better, the chick whips out a laptop and logs into her OKCupid account. Never been on the site, but it seems quite popular. So she's just going through her recent messages and telling this guy how she screens everyone and who gets automatically deleted. WTF?!?! I'm just sitting there with a beer in complete disbelief that this has become a party topic. If it wasn't for the beer, I would've probably got up and did a bit of walking around the neighborhood...

Which brings me to the most important Nothing of the night. The beer.

While this exchange about online dating is going on, the guy in mid-lesson gets up to grab a beer. At this point, J and her roomies ran out and were on their last couple of Millers, or some other bad beer. That's when you know the party was planned by a group of women - guys would've had an endless supply of bad beer or sent someone for a refill wayyy before running out.

This is what I imagine happened. Guy gets up wanting one last beer before the fireworks. Guy opens fridge and, having tunnel vision, doesn't think to look on the door and grab a Miller. Guy grabs first beer on shelf without considering what kind of beer he is grabbing or who possibly brought the beer. Guy opens beer and doesn't even care what it tastes like.

Now, why is this so important? Earlier I mentioned, that I rolled up to J's house with a case of my fav micro-brew. On the holiest American holiday, of course I want to celebrate it with a refreshing beer. That's just American.

Guy wasn't the only one to grab one of my beers. A girl who had walked through the door only minutes behind me, went straight for the fridge and grabbed one of my beers. My comment while watching her open it up?

"Hey, hope you enjoy that beer. Great brew."

Girl says, "Oh, what is it?"

Jesus Christ. Who does that? When did it become totally ok to show up to a multi-person party and just drink whatever you want? Uhhh, no. At the very least grab the hostess to find out if it's a free-for-all. Or, in dire cases of ignorance, go for the worst of the drinks unless you know the person who brought it. Fuck.

Back to the guy. He's happily chugging my micro-brew while indulging this crazy chick and her OKCupid ridiculousness, while I try to throw a couple stink eyes his way. Doesn't notice...no surprises there.

Oh, oh, it's not over there. There could have been some satisfaction from knowing a co-patriot enjoyed a great brew on the Fourth. However, when everyone decides the group is heading over to NW and watch the fireworks display, the guy promptly sets down a half-full bottle and walks away. Blasphemous. Treasonous. And RUDE.

The icing on the cake was going to a club at the end of the night and silently hating the guy because I was spending ten bucks a pop on bad V&Ts, when I could've just had my last bottle. Perhaps that's a fallacy in logic, but who's counting?

Maybe it's Nothing, but I won't quit bitching about it....